What?! Which is it? Neighbor or nemesis? Or both?

What is a nemesis? Someone who keeps popping up either in reality or in your mind to irk you. Do you have someone like that? Someone whose words keep popping up in your head as criticism or nagging or unwanted advice? I do. It’s like that person is right there beside you.

Jesus did not say, “Love those neighbors who are nice to you.” He said, “Love your neighbor…” Who is your neighbor? In the parable of The Good Samaritan, Jesus inferred our neighbor is anyone we come in contact with. So, that would include our nemesis.

Gertie, in The Long Trek, is haunted by Hulda who fiercely verbally attacked her at the beginning of the story. Now that Gertie is far away, Hulda is still assaulting her with old wives’ tales and dreams. Gertie thought she’d get away from all that, but she can’t shake the control Hulda’s words have on her. If Gertie would just learn to forgive, maybe Hulda’s grip would be broken.

When we fail to forgive others, those people have control over us more than we would like. Unforgiveness gives the other person control over our

1. Peace and joy – “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6 ESV)
2. Thinking – a mind set on the flesh is manifested by “…enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy…” (Galatians 5:20, 21 ESV) but a mind set on the Spirit produces the fruit of the Spirit which is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” (Galatians 5:22,23 ESV)
3. Overall health – stress produces all kinds of negative effects on our body. These physical responses substantiate the concepts presented in Bible.
   • “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” (Proverbs 14:30 ESV)
   • “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:7,8 ESV)
   • “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22 ESV)

It’s our choice – do we want our nemesis to control us? “Heap coals of fire on his/her head” by loving them. Contrary to seeking vengengence, look for ways to feed your enemy if they are hungry, or give them a drink if they are thirsty, “‘for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:20,21 ESV)

Gertie had to learn she was letting her nemesis have control over her thoughts and thereby over her health and robbing her of her peace and joy. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do. It does not come naturally. I will spend more time on what is involved in forgiveness in upcoming posts.

In the meantime – action step – think about anyone who might be robbing you of your peace and joy. Spend time thinking about how you might “heap coals of fire” on their heads. Place any comments in the box below. I would love to hear how you “heap coals of fire” on someone’s head.